


Wade's Christmas Inspiration

by thecalimack



Series: An Avengers Christmas [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crazy, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mild amounts of smut. Sorry, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 22:23:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5515475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecalimack/pseuds/thecalimack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spidey, baby, won't you swing 'round the city tonight~?</p><p>OR</p><p>Wade likes singing. Peter doesn't want to admit how he likes it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wade's Christmas Inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired, alright? I write parodies for fun, and I will record them someday.

Peter loved Wade, he truly did. They'd been dating for months now and had gotten past most of each other's quirks. Wade's especially, since he was a bit of a lune.

Okay, very much a lune.

So it was a humble winter night when Spiderman swung from a building to another while offering Deadpool a piggyback ride when Deadpool belted out his own version of a holiday song.

 

"Spidey, baby, won't you swing 'round the city tonight,  
For me?  
Won't you swing 'round the city.  
Spidey, baby,  
won't you swing 'round the city tonight~?"

Peter took a moment to blink as they landed on a rooftop ledge and cast a look at Wade, who was trying to look innocent under his mask. It almost worked, if that was even possible. "Deadpool, what were you singing?"

"I made a song for you!" he cheered, totally unabashed. "I got a bunch of other songs you could hear. PETE THE SPI-" Peter slapped a hand over Wade's mouth and the rest of his rendition of 'Frosty the Snowman' came in a distorted, muffled noise. He gave Wade a minute before he pulled the hand back. "What was that for?!"

"We had a rule about secret identities and being on-duty," Peter answered carefully, almost biting out his answer. 

"Oh. Oh yeah..." Wade was thoughtfully quiet before they went swinging again, and this time Wade had a different song in his head. "Avengers Time! Go and grab your friends! Fighting evil until the end. Cap and Tincan, Scary Lady, William Tell, Hulk, and Thor, it's Avengers Time!"

Peter groaned, trying not to laugh. That song was gonna stick harder in his head now.

 

They decided to drop by Avengers Tower and get some rest, where Wade was listing off more songs. Peter graciously kept quiet as Wade kept singing Lady Gaga's Christmas Tree while shamelessly shaking his pert rear. He let Wade lead the way since he had his own private suite/containment level and was admiring how the man's suit rippled with the rest of his body like a second layer of skin. It was almost guilt-inspiring.

At the elevator, Wade talked to the tower AI like a long lost friend. "FRIDAY, baby! Common lounge, please! I'm starving!"

"Of course, Mr. Wilson. And good evening, Mr. Parker." The elevator moved and Wade drowned out the elevator music with another parody.

"We are the Avengers! We'll always save the day! And if you think we can't? We'll always find a way. There's always lots of hope if you believe in..." Wade paused and pointedly looked at Peter, hopeful even through the damn mask.

Peter rolled his eyes and joined in, trying to make the lyrics and the beat work. "Spidey, Iron Man, Cap, and Sarge..."

"And Deadpool!" he finished. Deadpool didn't have a good singing voice, it was gruff and rough and almost raw half the time, but he made up for it with boyish enthusiasm. "See, Spidey? Next up, I'm taking you to Broadway. Christmas is the season for Broadway!"

"I'm too tired to argue," Peter said wryly. "And it's hard to fit everyone in a song. I mean, we hardly even got Bucky in there, yet." Wade was about to add something just as the doors opened...

 

...and explicit moans echoed down their way, faint but audible.

Peter was about to hit the button for another floor when Wade grabbed his wrist and pulled them out of the elevator. In the kitchen, they saw Tony assaulted by two buff Santa figures, clearly Bucky and Steve, and they were getting really, REALLY intimate. They were kissing open-mouthed, lewd and unabashed and absolutely filthy. Steve was nibbling on Tony's neck over him, while Bucky, from behind, cupped Tony's chest and was making out with him. Their shirts were open and halfway to the ground and this would have scarred anyone if it wasn't so hot. There was a curse when Peter and Wade realized they were tag-teaming Tony's trousers, ready to do the deed. Peter and Wade watched awkwardly from the corner, unnoticed, and Peter gently and quietly pulled them back into the elevator once he gained his bearings.

Before the doors closed, Peter heard with his Spider sense when Tony called out "Next time, we're tag-teaming Bucky."

When the doors closed, Wade was snickering while Peter tried to calm down. It didn't help when Wade began to sing, or rather scream in chorus, inspired.

"I saw DADDY KISSING SANTA CLAUS UNDER THE MISTLETOE LAST NI~GHT!"

Peter collapsed as Wade continued with a filthier threesome version of the song.

And that pretty much sealed Peter's night. A tiring patrol punctuated with Wade singing something dirty.

Peter wanted some quiet, so he settled for a kiss to shut up Wade, and he all but hauled him into his bedroom, where they would have something Wade always dreamed of: acrobatic spider sex.

And so Wade Wilson grew three times quiet that night, and his member maybe two times large, but no one needed to know that last bit. For Christmas cheer went all around, sprayed in the air and dripping to the ground.

And what of the songs he sang that day? Well, he did an encore on Christmas day, and Clint laughed his ass to the ground, while Steve could hardly utter a sound. Tony and Bucky were red from laughter, and Peter thought it wasn't as bad a disaster.


End file.
